Here are the lyrics and audio for "The Back Porch," a lively bluegrass love song by Lannie Dietle. This lighthearted tune celebrates the simple joy of porch-sitting in the golden years — watching deer, foxes, squirrels, and lightning bugs while reflecting on a lifetime of enduring love and a no-frills Texas courthouse wedding that cost just twenty dollars. Enjoy the free lyrics, personal notes, and streaming audio below.
The best weddin' that I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
We sit here on the back porch, and watch deer grazin' on our hill.
We see foxes runnin' past after the leaves turn brown and fall,
As we sit here side by side, thrilled by the wonder of it all.
We got old and gray together, and our hips hurt when we walk.
That doesn't matter on the back porch, as we sit around and talk.
We got married at the courthouse, and you might say it was no-frill.
Oh, the best weddin' I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
The judge was a wee bit tipsy, 'cause it was Christmas party time.
He forgot to put his teeth in, but I guess we didn't mind.
We got old and gray together, and she still gives me a thrill.
The best weddin' I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
We got hitched way down in Texas, near Deaf Smith's final restin' place.
Now she don't know what I'm sayin' unless she's a lookin' at my face.
We fight with hearin' aid battery packs, and have boxes for our pills,
But the best weddin' that I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
We sit here on the back porch, and watch them squirrels play'n in the trees,
And we can feel bad weather a comin' on in our ankles and our knees.
It's been a long time since we fell in love, and I sure do love her still.
Oh, the best weddin' that I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
We got old and gray together, and marvel at the wonder of it all.
Now we wobble when we stand up, but so far, we haven't falled.
We take a break at lunchtime, and go in to get our bellies filled.
Oh, the best weddin' that I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
Hoot owls call to each other when the dusk, it comes and falls.
Then the lightnin' bugs start a-blink'n in the darkness of nightfall.
We sit here in the moonlight, and we listen to the whippoorwill.
Oh, the best weddin' that I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
Yeah, the best weddin' I ever had cost me a twenty-dollar bill.
Reflecting on this porch sitting song
The bluegrass song "The Back Porch" is the true story of the love my wife Cheryl and I have for back porch sitting, and for each other. We met and fell in love as teenagers back in Mercer County, Pennsylvania in the 1960s, broke up, and then got married at the Fort Bend County courthouse in Richmond, Texas 30 years later. As described on page 338 of my 2024 book "In the Land of Used to Be," the judge was having an alcohol-fueled Christmas party when we walked into his courtroom to ask if he would marry us, and he really did forget to put his false teeth in for our wedding ceremony. Naturally, I wrote the song while sitting on the back porch with Cheryl.
The reference to Deaf Smith in the lyrics is more than just a lead-in to the struggles we have with deafness in our household. It's also an "Easter Egg" for people familiar with Texas history because it identifies the courthouse where we were married.
As far as categories go, I reckon "The Back Porch" song must surely be a Boomer Bluegrass love song.
L. Dietle
This shows our screened-in back porch, where "The Back Porch" song was written. The porch overlooks a wooded valley that has an abundance of wildlife including deer, owls, foxes, racoons, and squirrels — the perfect place to write a golden years love song!
This is the view of the wooded valley from our back porch.
A line in "The Back Porch" song indicates that we watch deer grazing on our hill. We regularly see deer and other wildlife when we're sitting on our back porch. For example, this fawn was just a few yards away from the porch when I took the picture.
A line in "The Back Porch" song indicates that we fight with hearing aid battery packs. That may be a reference that only senior citizens will understand. Hearing aid batteries are now coming in childproof packaging that is extremely difficult to open — especially for elderly people. You actually have to cut the packaging open with scizzors in order to access the miniature batteries.
This is me and my wife Cheryl on our wedding day. The comical details of our courthouse wedding became part of "The Back Porch" bluegrass love song a quarter of a century later.
More playful bluegrass songs to consider
Now that you've heard my playfully romantic porch sitting song, here are some other playful bluegrass songs to explore:
